The whole cutting thing is really messed up, and too bloody for me- I would fail at starving myself because I love food, so I started gauging my ears. Bonus-it’s something my ex hates.
I’m up to 4’s now so the pain isn’t extreme, but that feeling, right when I force the next size in is so clarifying. It makes everything real, pulls me out of the fog I sit in all day. It makes me focus on it and nothing else. It’s a good pain.
I wonder if anyone else has done this or if I’m just super lame.